


Quiet Moments Before the End

by remreader



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Trailer, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, POV Pepper Potts, Pepper Potts Needs a Hug, Protective Pepper Potts, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 17:24:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18480883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remreader/pseuds/remreader
Summary: The Tony & Pepper reunion hug from the Endgame trailer and what came after.(Written for my TSB square A2 - photo of Tony from the 1st Endgame trailer)





	Quiet Moments Before the End

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for the Endgame trailers (obviously), Infinity War, and I suppose theoretically for Endgame too.

_Pepper half expected Tony to ask for a cheeseburger, for old time's sake, or tease her like he did all those years ago, the first time he was lost and came home to her. But they were both so far past needing jokes or even words at all now and he just looked at her with those sad tired beautiful eyes and collapsed into her waiting arms, temporarily driving every coherent thought out of her head. He was way too skinny and Pepper was almost afraid she'd break him if she held him too tightly but she could feel his breath warm against her neck and his heart beating beneath her palm and he was here and solid and_ alive _and she never wanted to let go._

_Tony's mind was working sluggishly as he tried desperately to stay standing up, to stay conscious at all. He was almost giddily lightheaded from the sudden abundance of oxygen in the air on top of everything else, on top of the absolutely intoxicating relief that Pepper was here, that he hadn't lost her too. Everything was blurry and dizzying and he wasn't entirely sure if any of this was real but Pepper held him steady like she always did and he could feel her warmth chasing away some of the bone-deep cold of space._

_They stood like that for a while, just holding each other and crying. Eventually Pepper pulled herself carefully out of the hug, pressed a soft kiss to Tony’s dry, cracked lips, and they walked slowly inside together._

* * *

Once they were in the compound’s medbay Pepper did what she always did best in these situations and took charge. It was one of the ways she coped, kept herself sane in a world that had kept getting crazier all the time in an exponential curve from the first time she had set foot in Tony Stark's office half a lifetime ago. It had gotten her through years of his shenanigans, both the terrifying life-endangering superhero ones and the regular variety of Tony insanity. That had been one of the hardest things about the past few weeks, there was nothing she could _do_. Nothing at all but wait for something to happen, for Tony to come home or for some confirmation that he never would, and somehow resist the urge to curl up in a ball in the corner and sob or scream in frustration at the universe that kept taking him from her.

But this? After years of patching Tony up (or, as he would refer to it while flashing her a teasing grin to try and distract from the fact that he was _bleeding all over the couch_ , playing doctor with him) after myriad lab accidents and Iron Man missions, this she could handle. Pepper knew how Tony got on those rare occasions he let anyone other than her, Rhodey, or Bruce near him when he was hurt or sick; knew how uncomfortable he was with being touched and examined even at the best of times. He'd particularly hate it now, when he could do nothing to feel in control of what was being done to him. Tony needed her to run interference for him and that's exactly what she was going to do, and for the first time since he flew away onto that ship she felt like there was at least some small part of their lives that wasn't spinning wildly out of control.

Pepper got Tony settled as comfortably as possible on one of the medbay beds and brought over a pitcher of ice chips to give him while they waited for a more efficient means of rehydration. Tony sucked on her fingertips thirstily with each piece and she had to bite back the insane urge to pull her hand away and replace it with her mouth. Pull him to her, twist her fingers up in his hair, kiss him hard and deep… Neither of them were even remotely up for any of that right now but it didn't make her want it any less. She shook her head in mildly amused frustration. _Focus, Pepper_. She was acting a bit too much like Tony now, getting distracted like a horny teenager when there were more pressing matters to attend to but damn it, she really had missed him.

The compound’s doctor came into the room and Pepper snapped automatically back into professional mode. She listened to what they said, cataloging all the important information about symptoms, potential treatment options, danger signs…dehydration, malnutrition, anemia - Tony would probably need a blood transfusion but that would have to wait a few hours anyway for blood tests to be run - all of it…

The bottom line was that they could make do for now with a saline and nutrition drip (Pepper had immediately vetoed the idea of feeding tube; it would be way too invasive to put in, would make it too hard for Tony to breathe, plus she knew from experience that he'd definitely pull it out if given a chance) along with close monitoring of his vital signs and leave the more intensive examinations for later, when he was a bit stronger. This was exactly what she needed to hear - only one person would have to poke at Tony, and after getting him set up with an IV the two of them would be left alone to get some much-needed rest.

Pepper honestly wasn't sure how aware Tony was of what was going on. He flinched at each of the at least a dozen jabs it took to find a vein in his arm that didn't collapse before an IV could be inserted but was otherwise focused completely on Pepper, eyes studying her intently like he thought she'd vanish if he looked away.

And then, finally, they were alone again. The IV pump clicked and beeped periodically as it delivered saline and nutrition and a mild sedative, just enough so that maybe if they were lucky Tony wouldn't panic and try to rip out the tube if he woke up and didn't remember where he was. An oxygen/heart rate monitor was taped around his index finger, the little red light of it shining steadily at his fingertip. Pepper could almost hear the corny E.T. impression that Tony would definitely attempt when he noticed it, before booping her on the nose or doing something equally ridiculous and the thought of it made her smile.

Tony was able to focus a little bit better, it seemed, now that it was just the two of them in the room but he was definitely still stressed out; Pepper could see his hand tremoring like it always did whenever he was nervous or, more worryingly, on the edge of a panic attack. She gave it a quick reassuring squeeze, but she knew that was barely even a temporary solution to the problem.

Looking Tony over Pepper noticed a cut slicing across his cheekbone, under his eye. It was well on its way to healing already but more out of habit than anything else she started cleaning and bandaging it up anyway. She could feel Tony relaxing under her familiar ministrations and it gave her an idea. A way to calm him down a bit before getting him to sleep, hopefully enough to keep the inevitable nightmares at bay, and, she had to be honest with herself, an excuse to touch him more, to keep feeling the confirmation that he really was warm and alive and safe with her again. She didn't want to ask but she was pretty willing to bet that the last time he'd had a proper shower was with her before they went jogging _that_ morning. There was only so much she could do with him lying in bed hooked up to an IV pump but still, it was worth a try.

“You know, Tony, I'm really glad you're back and all, but you smell _terrible_ ,” she teased, hoping it would cheer him up a little, if only fleetingly. “If you expect me to get in that bed with you we're going to have to get you cleaned up a bit first, ok?”

Tony gave her a slight smile and nodded gratefully.

Pepper ran some hot water at the sink and brought over a washcloth and some hospital soap, the kind that comes in a spray bottle and doesn't need to be rinsed off. Perfect. Tony's tank top was a bit of a problem; it would be a major hassle to try and maneuver it off over his IV. Well, it's not like he would need to wear it again anyway. Pepper found a pair of surgical scissors in a drawer and started cutting away at the grimy fabric.

“Couldn't wait for an excuse to tear my clothes off, huh?” His voice was a hoarse whisper and his crooked little half-grin didn't quite reach his eyes but it was enough of the old flirty Tony Stark™ to make Pepper smile fondly in response. She might even have laughed, out of relief he could still attempt a joke if nothing else but then she got his shirt all the way off and her breath caught in her throat.

There was a massive puncture wound spread over at least a quarter of Tony's chest, a mangled mess of half-healed scarring. The skin around the edges was mottled greenish-yellow, the color of a slowly fading bruise that stretched even further across his torso. A silvery-white substance covered the portions of the wound that hadn't already healed over, and Pepper recognized it immediately as Tony's patented nanite bandaging. It was something him and Peter had come up with together, one day in the lab when the kid had been working on improvements to his webbing formula and Tony was in the early stages of developing the nanotechnology that powered the Mark L, the two of them bouncing back and forth between projects in a swirl of creative genius; Pepper suspected that the collaboration was why Tony had been so proud of this technology in particular. At any rate, seeing it here was some small measure of good news, there was little danger of the wound opening back up before it could get looked at properly. But still...

Pepper trailed her fingers lightly across the edge of the injury, where a particularly jagged ridge of scar tissue ran frighteningly close to Tony's ribcage. She watched him for a few moments, a not insignificant portion of the damage rising and falling as he breathed in and out. Whatever he'd been stabbed with had almost definitely punctured his lung too, and that was in addition to the alarming number of vital organs that the wound neatly overlapped. Tony had always been a survivor, had cheated death over and over again but this was something else entirely.

“How…?” Pepper couldn't bring herself to finish the question but Tony seemed to understand anyway.

“The wizard made a bargain,” he muttered dully, like that explained everything. Pepper had no idea what that meant, mentally adding it to the long list of questions she'd be asking him tomorrow, but she could see the anguish in Tony's eyes when he said it. She felt a little shiver of fear too, hearing in his tone an echo of words from years ago: _I shouldn't be alive, unless it was for a reason_ … Pepper knew how Tony's mind worked, how easily he could spiral into guilt and lose himself in what he thought he owed the world and it terrified her.

“The suit wasn't- _I_ wasn't good enough. All these years and still I wasn't ready. I could've done more, I could've saved him…”

Saved... _Oh_. “Peter?”

Tony nodded.

Pepper had feared as much, when Peter hadn't gotten off the ship with Tony and Nebula but the confirmation still hurt. She cupped Tony's face in her hand and stroked his cheek gently with her thumb.

“It wasn't your fault, honey.” She didn't need to know exactly what happened to know that was the truth, or to know that Tony would never, ever believe it.

Tony just shook his head sadly and a tear rolled down his cheek to land on Pepper's finger.

* * *

Between the wound and the arc reactor, sorry - “housing unit for nanoparticles” - there really wasn't much of Tony left to wash off but Pepper did her best, scrubbing carefully around the scarred mess with her warm washcloth and then helping him sit up so she could get at his back. He leaned against her and rested his head on her shoulder. Maybe not the most effective position but Tony seemed comfortable so she went with it.

As Pepper worked her way down she eventually reached the exit wound on Tony's lower back, another huge area of scarring, rough and jagged under her fingers. She had known there'd be one but actually feeling it forced the full gruesome violent image into her mind: Tony, impaled. Coughing up blood and struggling to breathe, in pain and _dying_ somewhere far, far away from her. She felt a surge of anger, the heat of it coiling up in her chest; she wanted Thanos to _burn_ for this, for all of it.

Tony whimpered and shifted slightly, twisting away from her hand. Pepper realized with a sickening jolt that her skin was starting to glow faintly and she was gripping him too tightly, her fingers leaving white pressure marks in the tender, bruised skin at the edge of the wound. She was _hurting_ him. She let go at once, hands shaking and breathing ragged as she pushed it all back down. _Not helpful, not now. Tony needs you now_. It was the closest she'd come to losing control in years. “Oh my god, I'm so sorry, honey, I didn't mean to…” she stammered out, horrified.

“ ‘s ok.” Tony mumbled drowsily, and he settled back down against her. Pepper hugged him and took a few deep breaths, then picked up her washcloth and got back to work, slowly and cautiously.

* * *

Tony eventually started to doze off, lulled by the soothing motion of Pepper's hand on his back and the medication that was finally beginning to kick in. Pepper could feel his breathing slowly even out and his head sink deeper onto her shoulder. She held him like that for a bit, savoring the warm familiar feeling of him falling asleep in her arms, before eventually easing him down carefully back onto the bed. She tried not to wake him but his eyes fluttered back open almost as soon as his head hit the pillow, and he looked up at her, wide-eyed and anxious.

“Pepper?” Tony whispered. His voice was slurred from sleep and he sounded hesitant, his words halting, “When I was up...there, in- in space...I mean, maybe I still am, I don't-...I dreamt about you. All the time, it was always you…so many little moments... And I saw our wedding, Pep…” His hand trembled slightly as he reached out to curl a finger around her engagement ring. “You look so beautiful in white, have I ever told you that? It all felt so real, and then now this...here...you...it feels real too and I- I think it is, I think this time is different and I _want_ it to be but I can't- I don't _know_ anymore…”

It was the most he'd spoken at once since stumbling off the ship and Pepper wondered if he'd been holding that in this whole time, figuring out how to put his fear into words and doubting even his own mind. He looked so lost and vulnerable and his eyes were pleading, begging her to give him the answers he needed.

Pepper took Tony's hand, pressing his palm firmly to her chest so he could feel her heartbeat. It was a habit they'd both fallen into over the years, whenever one of them woke up needing reassurance that the other was still alive and sleeping safely next to them, that the nightmares weren't real. An anchoring point even in those fuzzy moments when dreams and reality still felt blended together. Tony's fingers curled tightly into Pepper's shirt for a moment and then he finally truly relaxed, closing his eyes and nodding. _real real real_.

“Thank you,” Tony murmured sleepily and then, softer, “I love you, Miss Potts.”

Pepper reached down to run her fingers gently through Tony's hair and smiled when he leaned into her hand, tilting his head to rest against her wrist and sighing contentedly. “I love you too, Mr. Stark.”

Pepper kicked off her shoes and climbed into the bed next to Tony. She pressed a kiss to his forehead, and the touch of her lips felt as cool and healing against his hot skin as the saline drip running up his arm. “It's going to be ok,” she whispered soothingly, pulling the blanket back over both of them and helping Tony snuggle up close to her without tugging on his IV or putting too much pressure on his injured side. “You're home and you're safe and I'll be right here when you wake up, I promise.”

Tony let himself drift off with Pepper curled protectively around him and her soft reassurances playing like a lullaby in his ear. It was only a few minutes before Pepper was asleep too, all the exhaustion from so many anxious sleepless nights seeping back into her at once. The world around them was still broken in a thousand different ways and maybe they were too, and maybe right now was all they'd ever have but they were together and that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually finished my Endgame trailer fic *before* the movie came out, so I'm considering this a win! (I've been attempting to write this this for so long and then The Hug happened and rendered all my plans irrelevant anyway lol) Also oops this accidentally ended up being by far the longest fic I've ever written...


End file.
